Tuesday, February 15, 2005	Official Online News for Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends	Price: Seven toothpicks
MASSIVE FLOODING IN NASTACOOTCHIE BURRITO SPECIAL AT LOCAL DINER SUSPECTED AS SOURCE OF FLOOD City workers determined early Tuesday morning that a "$1 Burrito Special" at Uncle Daddy's Store lead 37 local residents to make a mad dash for the only bathroom in downtown Nastacootchie County. The 130 year-old outhouse was unable to accommodate such a large "deposit," and the runoff for the outhouse, the Fiseas River, rose 13 feet above normal water levels. No fatalities have been reported, and residents have yet to find anything "unusual." DICK BUTT KISS AND THE TIGHTENDS NEEDS YOUR HELP Unfortunately, due to what can only be referred to as "architectural misappropriation," many of Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends' important documents were ruined in the flood. (Hey, it's cheaper to run our offices beneath the outhouse). So why the hysteria over a bunch of used paper? Well, in addition to the only copy of the Nastacootchie County Declaration of Independence, we have also lost our fan club mailing list. This means that many of our loyal fans currently have no immediate contact with Nastacootchie or Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends. BUT YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. How you ask? Easy, simply forward this message on to anyone you believe is a true Nastacootchian at heart. All they have to do is visit us at www.dbkte.com and click on "Fan Club." If you have received this issue of the Nastacootchie County Town Cheesmo directly from fanclub@dbkte.com, you do not need to reapply for fan club membership.
Note: If you have received this email, you or a member of the band has requested that your email address be added to the Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends Fan Club. If you wish to be removed from this list, please visit our website www.dbkte.com and click on "Fan Club," or reply to this email with the words "REMOVE" in the subject.