Tuesday, March 1, 2005	Official Online News for Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends	Price: Twenty-four condoms
NASTACOOTCHIANS ELECT TOWN FOOL CITIZENS AGAINST DICK BUTT KISS PROTEST RESULTS, DEMAND RECOUNT Known to locals as "Jimmy," Jimmy has been re-elected as the town fool for his ninth consecutive year. The special interest group, Citizens Against Dick Butt Kiss, gathered in downtown Nastacootchie to protest the results of the election. The group's claim is that the ballot taker, a position reserved for the previous year's town fool, was allowed to stuff the ballot box with industrial KY, preventing any official ballot counts to be taken. Physicians from the Meyer Institute of Psychiatric Institute in Chicago were able to determine that Jimmy does not, in fact, have the mental capacity to concoct such a scheme. Jimmy issued a public statement apologizing for relieving himself while on duty. FLOOD RECONSTRUCTION EFFORTS UNDERWAY, CELEBRATION TO ENSUE It has been reported that local contributions to reconstruction efforts have been critical in the rebuilding process, and it is projected that by 2011, Nastacootchie County should be "as good as new-like." In light of everyone's hard work, Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends would like to thank the following: Local pipe-maker, Willie McGeeber, who was kind enough to donate his time and effort into rebuilding the Nastacootchie County smoke stack, the extensive efforts from the townsfolk of Cheenon, and all those who plan to celebrate the beginning of the 2005 Season of DBK on March 9. We will be appearing at Cafe Diem in Richmond, VA., and as always, we aim to enlighten the masses. For more information about the show, please visit our website, www.dbkte.com.
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